FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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