Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
