Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
