go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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