Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
