Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
