I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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