I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
