Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
