At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
