So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
