Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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