While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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