It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
