i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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