sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
