garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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