I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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