she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
its liver damage thursday
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize