I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
