That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
