No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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