i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently the secret to your success is patron
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
