Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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