The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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