have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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