Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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