Swine flu is the new snow day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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