Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Watching her eat just hurts me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
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