Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
