I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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