He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
