The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
