Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
