the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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