I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
