It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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