Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just pee around me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
