the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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