i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
