you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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