ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
