My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
