See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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