and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
