She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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