4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will pee on everything he values.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
