oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize