You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
