the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
