And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
