sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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