Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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