I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Will exercising make me less horny?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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