so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
