Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm passing your future prison.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
