so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
