how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
