I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
