Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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