and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
