i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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