Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
