oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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