Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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