I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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