BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
