Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
