Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
