eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
