yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
