I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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