My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
