you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
