i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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