im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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